Hello all you beautiful people. I want to share something super personal and special with you all.
Being a hyper kid that I was growing up, I have always enjoyed and loved being active since my childhood days (thanks to my parents for those genes). Be it high school gymnastics or track running or playing all kind of sports growing up. And now running races, dancing, diving, traveling, gymming etc etc etc.
It is imperative how much I love being active, but as I write this now- there came a sudden realization. Have I ever sat down and spent time writing down things I have done so far, from those days growing up till now? Have I even had time to take a step back and reflect those moments that I am grateful for? I mean is it even a thing? How could it be, when it was not really taught in school growing up. Is it even important? I asked myself. Why is it that Intelligence Quotient was the only score that mattered? What about emotional quotient? How amazing would it be if there was a chapter that taught us how to take a step back and reflect to “be thankful” for the little things in life?
So I sat and started writing down all the moments I was able to experience throughout my childhood till today and the list was never ending. Be it playing sports or track racing to dancing, or anything that very much made us who we are today, the list just kept getting longer and longer.
Coming back to the story of why I am writing this. Practicing physical therapy professionally since 2013, it was in 2016 when I was doing home care PT, that one fine day I was waiting for my client as I sat on her couch with my pulse oximeter (device that check your heart rate & oxygen saturation in blood ) and wondered let me check how my heart rate was.. and to my surprise it was shooting super high while I was just sitting, 112bpm to be exact. IT STRUCK ME HARD. Since that day I was OCDing about it and kept following up with my HR regularly. This continued until 2017 when I decided to get a heart sonogram done just to find that I have a condition called MITRAL VALVE PROLAPSE (MVP).
MVP is when one of the valves in the heart doesn’t close properly which may allow the blood to flow back into the upper chamber. This can put more stress on the heart as it has to continuously pump extra blood. Hence, the higher HR. Now it makes so much sense. Well, at first when I heard I was like wow really? But how is that possible because I have always felt fine and I continue to feel great. And of course being a healthcare professional, I am also aware of the consequences of it in the long run.
Just last year, taking an inspiration from a friend who trained for NYC triathlon despite not knowing how to swim. I signed up for a half marathon even with that internal struggle of an irregular heart rate. Guess what, I RAN IT. My HR avg for 2.15hrs was 190bpm. PRETTY DAMN HIGH. I knew I shouldn’t have stressed it like that, I knew I was putting strain but the satisfaction of finishing it was unmatched.
That event instilled a different kind of self confidence within me and I signed up for another half marathon around my birthday in october. A birthday gift to myself. Did it as well— but this time with more awareness of HR, altering the pace and not focusing much on time but just “enjoying the fact that I am doing it”. This time my Avg HR was 170bpm. I was BLOWN AWAY WITH MY OWN HEART’S CAPACITY TO ADAPT. Mind you, I didn’t train a single day for the second half. But what was striking was that when I ran with a grateful heart, the parameters were different, my heart was calm -physically and emotionally I felt even more grateful. That was a CLEAR SIGN to me, how being emotionally invested in an activity has a huge physical impact. Do we even think about this?
In my professional practice, I get to treat marathoners and help them overcome injuries before their race. So I knew last year that I would someday be able to train for a full marathon. But I also have read about marathoners with h/o undiagnosed MVP who ran and passed away in the middle of the race. SCARY? Not to me really…
It is with a grateful heart that I have chosen to sign up for the 2020 NYC Marathon through fundraising for Team For Kids. And I felt bad to ask friends for donations simply because they’re my friends, so I sat and asked myself WHY I want to do this? And here is the answer and so wanted to share my story because you deserve to know and connect to my story.
Before I start my training, I want to take time to say “thank you” for all the little things in life that brought me here to share this story. Be it my loving parents, my family members, my teachers, my dance instructors, those marathoners, my patients, those college professors, those strangers…. Not forgetting to thank for a bit of sunshine, the food on my plate, the sky full of stars, the car I drive and for those endless opportunities I am blessed with……OMG CAN THE LIST EVER END?
Ofcourse, there are many things I wish to do in life, but this feeling of being grateful has just filled me with so much love in my heart, that I feel grateful that I have MVP. Because after learning about it, I am in love with my heart, however it works, however it beats, however it emotes, this whole phenomena of it, I AM IN LOVE with it. I know it may all seem like BLAH BLAH BLAH to some of you, but trust me. I would love for you to experience the JOY of being grateful. Just sit and write it down…..
This is the experience I want to share because there are many out there struggling internally and feeling bad about themselves if they have an ailment. They feel helpless and sad for not having control over some physical things in life. But let me assure you, “YOU GOT THIS”, this feeling of being grateful HEALS you from INSIDE. And Once you know how to HEAL, it doesn’t matter whether you can TREAT it or not. Because there is a difference between the two. TREATMENT is an outside process, While HEALING is an inside one. How beautiful it is that I CAN HEAL WHAT CANNOT BE TREATED. How POWERFUL is that? Yes, that POWER IS WITHIN YOU. So, stop self-pity and feeling sad about yourself. I mean HOW CAN YOU?
Again, this is not to gain any sympathy or empathy, but just an experience to share. Not once since I have known about this condition that I have felt sad or helpless. Infact, I have never felt so strong in life—-emotionally, spiritually and physically. Able to dance, run, travel, dive—-all of the above. And that’s where we win it, when we come to a realization of how ABUNDANT we are.
Don’t they say..
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but I’d rather say whatever kills you, it makes you more grateful…”
💓<REALITY CHECK>💓
With nothing but a grateful heart,
Foram ❤️
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